Life, It Lives

So, I meant to update here about a week ago, but the whole 'Google blogger' changing of sign-in stuff messed with my head and I couldn't seem to get a username and password combination that worked. Now I've realised it's because I used my alternative hotmail address, which ends in .co.uk not .com. If you don't have it, by the way, just poke me and I'll give it to you. I don't use it for ANYTHING other than signing up to random sites, but hey. You never know.

I recently discovered that rejection on the internet can be nearly as painful as rejection in real life. One of the forums that I frequent had a group in which I thought I'd made many friends. Turned out I'd rubbed a few people the wrong way as well, and it ended with me leaving. I blame PMS and exam stress for the fact that this made me cry - finding out in between the two exams was probably a bad thing.
I've since taken a very enlightened viewpoint on the whole thing. Some of the people there who have become my friends sent lovely emails, and I'm using a different part of the same site, and taking it as a learning experience. Go me, and all that.

The biggest problem the 2/3 who didn't get on with me had was that I tended to go off track in threads, when they wanted it to stay strictly on topic. I always tried to keep it relevant and return to the original topic, but I like my discussions to be fluid and dynamic. I like to travel on new pathways and see where thoughts take us. I find it's the best way of exploring things. Unfortunately, that's not what they felt the group was about, and they'd been there far longer than me. Initially it upset me because I'd had a lot of respect for them and was mortified that I'd been acting in a way that upset/annoyed people, but now I've got past that.
Sometimes people do things in different ways. They saw it as me being unfocused and having a short attention span. I saw it as me exploring things and allowing the discussion to evolve. Neither of us are right, or wrong, we just didn't quite fit together.

Internet drama aside, I guess I should put a few thoughts about why I don't update this blog much anymore.

It's partly because I have quite a spread of blogs now - across four sites, all of which fulfil slightly different purposes. On LJ I keep up with those in my area, mostly in the roleplaying society. One of them no one knows about and I tend to use for private ranting, when I have things to say that need to be out there, but should never really be exposed to public. Sort of an alternative to using Word, really, with the odd public post. The final blog is on the above site, which is a site based around a theme, and so most of my posts are theme-centralised.
So, basically, I've got two blogs that I update when I feel like it, mostly for my own thoughts, and two that I use to update my friends. So why does this one get so neglected in comparison to my LJ one?

The thing is, most of what's going on in my life is related to people or practises within the roleplaying society, and I'm not sure if people here want to hear about it. For instance, as a member of the exec, I feel like we're possibly being treated unfairly in certain things. Members have been having a go at us for not doing things right that the previous exec didn't even TRY to do, but because we're trying, we get yelled at. Maybe all new execs feel this way. I don't know.
It really irritates me when people take the attitude that 'the exec is the enemy'. No, we're not. We're here to try and help you and make this a better society for everyone. We're necessary, we organise everything and without us, you wouldn't really have a society at all.
But it's all society politics. Is this stuff really interesting? Regardless, it'll probably dominate all my subsequent updates, so maybe you'll have to put up with it. =P

Other silly thing is that I'm always watching what I say in this post. Names particularly. I've come to accept that on LJ, people will know where I'm stationed. It's all very well me writing 'Town X' and referring to myself as 'Lentil' when my comments say, 'Hey ::RealName::, are you going to be down the ::PubName:: tonight?". When you then click on their journal, they talk about where they live.
Their journals, their choice. Most people now respect my desire to keep my real name secret, but to hide my location is pretty impossible. Not only is it impossible, but most of the group think me quaintly paranoid for worrying about it, in the same way they find my sunburn phobia amusing. We're students, we're laid-back, it's all cool, right? If anyone stalks me, I'll set John on them.
Yeah, I'm still paranoid by nature.

It's 2:50pm and I'm sat at my computer in my dressing gown. I really am a student.
Had a fire alarm yesterday, which was sort of fun and annoying at once. John and I were playing an online game and just about to fight the final boss. LMAO. My priorities are slightly off. The kitchen below us overcooked their burgers, and we saw nice firemen. Once we knew it wasn't a real fire we had people going in and out of the building quite a bit. I nipped back in to put my ice cream in the freezer. Quite ridiculous.
I'd never have done that sort of thing before, but it was strangely liberating to break the rules. In that safe, nothing bad's gonna happen I'm just not TECHNICALLY meant to do this way.

Blinky the rebel. You know it.